Food for Thought

I feel like one of the best ways to get to know a person is by their favorite quotes. For some reason, I feel like it tells me so much about someone. What they believe in, what they stand for, what they think about... etc. So, here are some of mine.

"Be as a bird perched on a frail branch that she feels bending beneath her. She still sings away all the same, knowing she has wings."-Victor Hugo

"In his heart a man plans his course, but The Lord determines his steps." Proverbs 16:9

"Funny the way it is, not right or wrong. Somebody's heart gets broken and it becomes your favorite song." -Dave Matthews

"Certain thoughts are prayers. There are moments when, whatever be the attitude of the body, the soul is on it's knees." -Victor Hugo

"Never lose an opportunity of seeing anything beautiful, for beauty is God's handwriting." -Ralph Waldo Emerson

"People moving all the time inside such a perfect striaght line, don't you wanna curve away? It's such.. such a perfect day." -Coldplay

"The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way that she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman is seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides. True beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. Its the caring that she lovingly gives, and the passion that she shows."-Audrey Hepburn

"Others matter more than you do, dear. So stop fussing. Get on with it."-Audrey Hepburn

"Courage is the power to let go of the fimiliar."

"Somebody's gonna find a precious blessing from Jesus out of this garbage dump of a situation."-Juno

"You call yourself a free spirit, a 'wild thing', and you're terrified somebody's gonna stick you in a cage. Well baby, you're already in that cage. You built it yourself... Its where ever you go. Because no matter where you run, you always end up running into yourself." -Breakfast at Tiffany's

"At some point, you have to make a decision. Boundaries don't keep other people out. They fence you in. Life is messy. Thats how we're made. So you can waste your life drawing lines... or you can live your life crossing them." -Grey's Anatomy

"Now is blessed. The rest.. remembered."

"Life's tough. It's even tougher if you're stupid."- John Wayne

"Whenever they say it can't be done, remind them that there is a jelly bean that tastes exactly like popcorn." -John Mayer

'"Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting. But a woman who fears The Lord is to be prasied." -Proverbs 31:30

"The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong." -Mahatma Ghandi

"A heart can be broken, but it still keeps'a beatin just the same."- Fried Green Tomatoes

"Young people, it’s wonderful to be young! Enjoy every minute of it. Do everything you want to do; take it all in. But remember that you must give an account to God for everything you do." Ecclesiastes 11:9

"He shall never know how I love him: and that, not because he is handsome, but because he is more myself than I am. Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same."-Wuthering Heights

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has gone and the new has come!" -2 Corinthians 5:17

"Your heart just breaks, thats all. You can't point fingers or judge. You just have to be lucky enough to be with someone who appreciates you."-Audrey Hepburn

"You can always tell what kind of woman a man thinks you are by the earrings he gives you."-Audrey Hepburn

"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you may have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."-John 16:33

Break the Cycle with Me

Before I begin, I would like to apologize for the quality of this blog post. I can assure you that it will be kind of crappy for many reasons. I REALLY need sleep.. and.. yeah thats it actually. I am so exhausted that my eyes are crossing. But I had to share this before I went to sleep. Once a week, i take part in "d-group". It's basically a bible study... a group of wonderful, sweet, and Godly girls that are so inspiring, lead by some amazing women who are excellent examples of what kind of women God wants us to be. I feel extremely lucky to be a part of this, and I want to share something with you all. We are reading a book called "So Long Insecurity", written by Beth Moore. Tonight, we had "quiet time"... about 30 minutes off by ourselves. Just us and God. We were given about a 3 page packet to take with us. It was a prayer out of the book... written by Beth Moore. I went to sit down in my own little corner of the house; blanket, bible, packet, and pencil in tow. As soon as I read it, I knew it was God speaking to me. Some of these things were so relevant to my situation that I felt like I was reading my own words. It was like His little way of saying that it was all going to be okay. That I was forgiven. That He loved me still. It was exactly what I needed to hear. So reassuring. It evoked so many emotions, and basically just gave me so much hope in my situation. I'm going to stop blabbing now and share this with you. These are the parts that really spoke to me (the parts that I underlined). The colored, bold, and italicized parts are just some favorites of the favorites.. So, here you go. I hope this helps someone like it helped me.



"Dear God, I am willing to do whatever it takes to be free and allow You to do through me what I cannot do for myself. You know what shuts me down. You know how driven I am by fear and how exhausted I am from surrendering to it. Your desire is for me to be free of every unhealthy motivation. Reveal any place they reside uncontested in me and supply the courage that I need to refuse to do their bidding. I am safe with You and loved by You. Because of Your grace, I can come to You just as I am. As you reveal yourself to me, I ask that you also mercifully reveal myself to me. Grant me insight to patterns I've developed, and give me answers that bring healing. I ask You, Lord to help me take responsibility for the insecurity that is my own doing. My own fault. My own sin. Forgive me for being so fixated on what I don't have that I leave the gifts You've given me undeveloped and much less effective than You have intended them to be. Forgive me equally for every time I've sighed with relief at the thought that I might be superior after all. You know what first frightened me into believing that no one and nothing could be trusted and that I'm on my own out here in a very unsafe world. You know where I developed a belief system based on the frailities of man instead of the bedrock of You. Touch every broken and wounded place with Your healing hand. Lord, empower me to forgive those who have let me down, failed to protect me, or inflicted injury upon me. Help me to see them as needy, broken people in their own right, and Lord, where there is still life and opportunity, bring redemption to those relationships. Help me to understand the gravity of this juncture: that if I do not seek healing and wholeness, I will instead end up perpetuating the cycle of injury. Break the cycle with me, O Lord. Break the cycle with me. Lord, come and treat my heart and soul where they have been shattered by loss. No one on earth can esteem the loss of something precious the way You can. You know the pain. You know my attempt to fill the void with things that never suffice. You know how my feelings frighten me and how the enemy of my soul would have me believe that I will never be okay. Make a liar of him, Lord. Do not let him win. Do not let loss win. Be my strength in weakness. Help me to see any place in my life where I'm hanging onto my grief or anger in an attempt to hang on to what I have lost. Where I've lost innocence, grant me integrity. Where I've held someone responsible for my loss, grant me the ability to forgive. Lord, help me to learn how to hang on tight to You when my life is rocked by dramatic change. Empower me to trust You and not to panic or fight for control. Help me to stop confusing a change in my circumstances to a change in my security status. You are my security, O God. You are the one sure thing. When everything around me shakes, You are unshakable. Increase my appreciation of the ONLY ONE who is the same yesterday, today, and forever. Nothing is without purpose. Every gift, challenge, and obstacle is meant to shape the destiny you ordained for me before time began. Please deliver me from self pity and a life of excuses and rationalizations. Of all things, please don't let it be said that I loved myself too much to fully love anybody else. Please don't let me gain the whole world and lose my soul. Father, help me to see where I am overly sensitive and where i put too much pressure on relationships. Help me to see where I insist on making a situation all about me. Help me to cease being so easily wounded, but at the same time, keep me from being hardened. Help me to realize that it's pointless to demand that others love me more or love me better. I cannot put a human incharge of my security without setting him or her up for certain failure. Help me to stop using a person as my mirror and start seeing myself as You alone see me. No one and nothing can take my dignity away from me now because You are the One who gave it. Help me to realize that I've only lost my dignity because I have surrendered it. Because of YOUR MERCY, Lord, I am no fool. Only a wise woman shifts her trust to you. In Jesus's saving and delivering name, Amen."

My Ever Present Spotter

When I used to cheerlead, I took tumbling classes. For those of you that don't know what tumbling is, it's much like gymnastics. Actually, it's gymnastics.. minus the vault and the balance beam. We did things at tumbling like you'd see cheerleaders do at pep rallies: Back handsprings, back tucks, whips, etc. I loved to tumble. When I was frustrated, I tumbled it out. When I had a bunch of nervous energy, I tumbled it out. There were things about tumbling that scared me, though. I hated standing back handsprings. More than anything. A standing back handspring is when you stand up straight, and just go into a handspring. Backwards. No round-off first. No running first. The first time I ever tried it, I fell. Flat on my back. I couldn't breathe and I was terrified. I hurt for days. After that, I usually had a spotter when I did it. (A spotter is the person who stands beside/behind you while you flip. They're basically there to make sure that you don't die.) Not that I needed one. I was just so terrified that I would land on my head, crack my neck, and die. Right there on the blue tumble floor. Or that I'd hurt myself again, just like the last time. I could do it. I knew I could. I could do everything else in the book, just not this. I just didn't trust myself. I didn't trust my spotter with my safety. I would say, "Ben, are you there?" He always was, but I was so uncertain. I would start to jump backwards, and then stand up and say, "I'm scared. I can't do it." There was something about just jumping. Just going for it. Not being able to see behind you... not being able to see the person who was helping you. I'd just stand there. And my instructor would say, "I'm here, Steph. Trust me. Jump." And I would, and when I did, I always ended up fine. No broken bones, no concussion, nothing.

I quit tumbling when I quit cheerleading. Almost 2 years ago. But even now, I find myself in this situation. Not the exact one, of course... but it applies. I've been dealing with alot for the past couple of weeks. I've been so unsure about where I am, where to go from here, and If I should jump or not. I've been standing here afraid of what might happen to me if I jump. Will I just get hurt again? Am I alone in this? What if I fall? Should I just give up? My dilemma is this: How do I let go of how I was hurt and try to move forward? How do I trust my spotter when I'm hurting like this? I'm so weary. So tired. But I can't give up on myself. I cannot give up on what God has in store for me. He is the ever present spotter. I hear him saying, "I'm here, Steph, Trust me. Jump." I may fall sometimes, but He will always pick me back up. He will always help me move forward from even the most heart breaking past. It hurts to look back. There is so much that I wish I could change. But my future is so promising. So I choose to jump. I choose to trust Him, and I choose to move forward so that I can feel the glory that is promised to me. And my spotter.. He keeps all His promises.


“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” -Matthew 11:28-30

Outside My Own Little World..

The number one new years resolution is to lose weight. It seems to be the thing that every American would like to accomplish. Some of us don't even make new years resolutions. And for us that do, they are often forgotten by February. As I was getting ready for a friend's New Years get together, I thought about what mine would be. Lose weight? No... Better grades? Nah. Keep my room clean... yeah right. Then a song came on the radio. I now know what my new years resolution is. I am going to try my hardest to help every needy person I encounter. No matter what they need. Obviously, I can't give anyone millions of dollars. But I can give my love, my support, and my friendship to those who need it. I know that I can make a difference in someone's life somehow.


My Own Little World- Matthew West
In my own little world it hardly ever rains
I’ve never gone hungry, always felt safe
I got some money in my pocket, shoes on my feet
In my own little world
Population me

I try to stay awake through Sunday morning church
I throw a twenty in the plate but I never give ’til it hurts
and I turn off the news when I don’t like what I see
it’s easy to do when it’s
population me

What if there’s a bigger picture
what if I’m missing out
What if there’s a greater purpose
I could be living right now
outside my own little world, ooo


Stopped at the red light, looked out my window
I saw a cardboard sign said “Help this homeless widow”
Just above that sign was the face of a human
I thought to myself, “God, what have I been doing?”
So I rolled down the window and I looked her in the eye
Oh how many times have I just passed her by
I gave her some money then I drove on through
in my own little world there’s
Population two, woah

What if there’s a bigger picture
what if I’m missing out
What if there’s a greater purpose
I could be living right now
outside my own little world, ooo
my own little world, ooo

Wo-a-oh x3
yeah-ah

Father break my heart for what breaks Yours
give me open hands and open doors
put Your light in my eyes and let me see
that my own little world is not about me

What if there’s a bigger picture
what if I’m missing out
What if there’s a greater purpose
I could be living right now

I don't wanna miss what matters
I wanna be reachin' out
Show me the greater purpose
So I can start livin' right now
outside my own little world, (yeah)ooo
my own little world, (yeah),yeah, yeah
my own little world, ooo

These Are a Few of My Favorite Things..

You know what sucks? The flu. Yeah. I've been in bed all day (with the exception of getting up to get some Honey Bunches of Oats) and I am bored out of my mind. Being stuck in bed like this gives me so much time to think. I could think about all my problems (which really aren't as bad as I think they are), how messy the room around me is, or how much I need a shower (yeah, I said it).. but instead I'm going to think about something happy. My favorite things ever. Vague, huh? I know. I'm going to entertain myself. Hopefully someone else, too.


1) White Bedding. Life is hectic. Life is intense. When I come home to go to sleep, I don't want hectic. I want simple. I want white.

2) Candles. I feel like you all already know this about me. I love candles. They're one of my favorite things to buy and in my opinon, they're a perfect gift. I always want to give them for Christmas but someone always gets to it before I do. :(
3) Audrey Hepburn. I love everything about this woman. If I could meet anyone, I would love to meet her. She is so inspiring, isn't she?
4) My nephews. They are so sweet and they make me so happy. When everything else is bad, hearing Jermia say "I love you, Steph Steph" makes me forget that there is anything bad at all. Braxton can't exactly say much yet, but his precious little smile says enough for me.

snotty nose. haha.

5) The beach. Who doesnt love the beach? I love the heat. I love being tan (makes me feel pretty). I love the smell of the ocean and the salt. ahhhh...

6) Interior design. I loveeee decorating rooms and painting walls and putting colors together. It makes me feel so crafty. When I have my own place, I can assure you that I am going to go decorating NUTS.
7) Baby animals! Haha maybe this is just the child in me. I loooove baby animals. I really wish that it was legal to own a baby panda.
8) Mini things! Things that are small but should be big are so cute to me. Maybe it's because I'm smaller than I should be that I like miniature versions of things. Who knows.
9) Cake Boss! Easily the best tv show ever. I'm so jealous that I can't do what they can do.
10) Weddings. Yes, weddings. I love going to them and looking at wedding magazines and all that jazz. I've had my dream wedding dress picked out since I was eight. Of course I am in no hurry to get married, but when I do... FIELD DAYYYY!

11) Nail polish. You already know this, but I just feel that it was necessary to add to this list. I own probably about 50 bottles. Its almost unhealthy..
12) Flowers. This is just a given. Every girl likes flowers.

13)Road trips! I love car rides. Especially when the weather is pretty. I don't ususally like to drive on those road trips though.. passenger's seat is my favorite place. :)

14) Thetare. Yep. I'm one of those. 15) Nostalgia. I love old things. Black and white pictures, old music, old movies, everything. It was all so simple a long time ago..

16) Crooners.

17) Hikes. I like being outside in general. But theres something so rewarding about being at the very top and seeing a beautiful view. My advice to you: NEVER hike a mountain in Toms.

18) Bracelets. Sometimes i get a little too excited and wear too many at once. I often have to tell myself to stop being so over zealous.

19) Cooking. When I'm in a bad mood, nothing cures it like mixing a bunch of crap together and then sticking it in the oven. It isn't always successful, but it sure is fun,

Okay thats enough. Only took me like 2 hours. YOU SUCK, FLU

Listen To My Heart? Yeah. Right.

I'm sure everyone has heard the phrase "listen to your heart". I know you have, actually. You've either heard it in a song, out of someone's mouth.. or you've read it in a book, in a magazine. Blah blah blah. How cliche is that saying? I've always thought that it was so corny. Like: "How could your heart possibly tell you anything? It sends blood to all your body parts so it won't die. If i tried to listen to my heart, all i would hear is boom boom.. boom boom.." Okay, getting a little ahead of myself already. Basically, that phrase means (in my opinon) do what you know is right. I have always had a hard time doing that. I know the difference between right and wrong, sometimes I just choose to pretend not to know. Your conscience has many names (or personas, rather)... Your Jiminy Cricket. The angel on your left shoulder and the devil on your right. Whatever you picture it to be, listen to it. Trust it. It's usually right. I cannot begin to count the times where I have been in a situation that I knew would end badly. I'd tell myself, "Stephanie. This is going nowhere. Run while you have the chance." But I never listen. All I can think about is what I'm feeling then. I know that the disaster is coming... I just choose to act like I have no clue. And then when the end comes.. when the pain rears its ugly head, I always say, "Why don't I ever listen to myself?" I've done this enough to finally learn my lesson. I'm finally deciding to use the judgement that God gave me. The judgement that I know is in there somewhere. Jiminy, I'm coming for you.

Just Breathe.

2 AM and she calls me 'cause I'm still awake,
"Can you help me unravel my latest mistake?,
I don't love him. Winter just wasn't my season"
Yeah we walk through the doors, so accusing their eyes
Like they have any right at all to criticize,
Hypocrites. You're all here for the very same reason

'Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table
No one can find the rewind button, girl.
So cradle your head in your hands
And breathe... just breathe,
Oh breathe, just breathe

May he turned 21 on the base at Fort Bliss
"Just a day" he said down to the flask in his fist,
"Ain't been sober, since maybe October of last year."
Here in town you can tell he's been down for a while,
But, my God, it's so beautiful when the boy smiles,
Wanna hold him. Maybe I'll just sing about it.

Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable,
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table.
No one can find the rewind button, boys,
So cradle your head in your hands,
And breathe... just breathe,
Oh breathe, just breathe

There's a light at each end of this tunnel,
You shout 'cause you're just as far in as you'll ever be out
And these mistakes you've made, you'll just make them again
If you only try turning around.

2 AM and I'm still awake, writing a song
If I get it all down on paper, it's no longer inside of me,
Threatening the life it belongs to
And I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd
Cause these words are my diary, screaming out loud
And I know that you'll use them, however you want to

But you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable,
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table
No one can find the rewind button now
Sing it if you understand.
and breathe, just breathe
woah breathe, just breathe,
Oh breathe, just breathe,
Oh breathe, just breathe

(2 A.M. -Anna Nalick)